Everybody agrees that you only have one chance for a good first impression. Hence the name. FIRST.!
Meeting the family of my girlfriend for the first time. Time to be smart, prepared, focused. Plan ahead. Once again; Be smart. Use the lessons from previous experiences. Follow the rules.
So here I go for that opportunity.
Already lover her, she does love me too but (unfortunately) you have to make sure everybody likes you.
Especially in the beginning. Until they know you and your intentions. Because people judge way too quick these days and if it is not positive it fucks everything up.
So it is time to play the game.
Rule Number One: Do not be an asshole. Be nice. Be patient. Scale people up. Are they sarcastic? Jokers? Serious? Do not rush but be nice.
Rule Number Two: Be Cautious. Keep an eye on your girlfriend when engaging with certain adults. Is she relax? Stressed? Jumpy? So you can manage your communication with that person better.
Rule Number Three: Listen more, talk less. Best way to figure out about the person you have just met. What subject they are passionate about? How much knowledge they have? What kinda word they are using? Are they positive? Negative? Aggressive? Happy? So you can pick little tips and mirror them for much better first-time encounters.
Rule Number Four: Compliment. Not in a cheesy way. Use your girlfriend as a tool. "She was telling me that you are a keen reader, traveller, hard worker, great mom etc" So they do not think that you are bullshitting but still impressed because it is coming from you.
Rule Number Five: Tell them how much she changed and affect your life in a positive way. This should be true anyway since you love her however it is important to mention it so they can be even more proud of her since she is a family.
Rule Number Six: Win the little one's heart. I can not press enough how important this is. Kids have no shame. If they do not like you, they will finish you off. They have no shame or filters. If you are not in a good term with them, they somehow expose you. Tell the adults that you were having a sneaky cigarette in the garden, swearing, eating a birthday cake secretly in the kitchen. Any little detail that might show you as a liar, asshole, bastard etc. So get them little gifts and be patient with them.
So I got geared up with these basic rules and set up my adventure. Since the first 5 rules are all mental exercises I went and bought three presents for 3 little nieces. My intelligent work indicated that one of them loves chocolate, other one is a little disco queen and the last one is a bookworm.
I got the best chocolate with hazelnuts, a little battery powered disco ball and a picture book about a little dog family.
Being proud and all about my choices We hit the road. Get to the gathering. Start following the rules I have written with much care. Then hole hell broke loose. People screaming, kids screaming and I am the one they are after with a great aggression.
First kid happened to be enjoying her chocolate but nobody told me about her ridiculously serious nut allergy. I am hoping that the ambulance will arrive soon since she looks red and somehow cannot breathe.
Second kid is in disco mode. Dancing like crazy. Only that I found out that she is epileptic and having a seizure kicked by my little disco ball with lights.
The third niece is running around screaming her lungs out. She was bitten by a dog a few months back and have serious dog issues.!
Well, we are still together and have a great relationship with the family but I lost 10 years of my life that day. My hair has gone white and half of it was lost.
Lesson learned. More rules added to the list but the good thing is I will never need them again. I and my other half will be one forever but you guys might keep the list. Free of charge.
Meeting the family of my girlfriend for the first time. Time to be smart, prepared, focused. Plan ahead. Once again; Be smart. Use the lessons from previous experiences. Follow the rules.
So here I go for that opportunity.
Already lover her, she does love me too but (unfortunately) you have to make sure everybody likes you.
Especially in the beginning. Until they know you and your intentions. Because people judge way too quick these days and if it is not positive it fucks everything up.
So it is time to play the game.
Rule Number One: Do not be an asshole. Be nice. Be patient. Scale people up. Are they sarcastic? Jokers? Serious? Do not rush but be nice.
Rule Number Two: Be Cautious. Keep an eye on your girlfriend when engaging with certain adults. Is she relax? Stressed? Jumpy? So you can manage your communication with that person better.
Rule Number Three: Listen more, talk less. Best way to figure out about the person you have just met. What subject they are passionate about? How much knowledge they have? What kinda word they are using? Are they positive? Negative? Aggressive? Happy? So you can pick little tips and mirror them for much better first-time encounters.
Rule Number Four: Compliment. Not in a cheesy way. Use your girlfriend as a tool. "She was telling me that you are a keen reader, traveller, hard worker, great mom etc" So they do not think that you are bullshitting but still impressed because it is coming from you.
Rule Number Five: Tell them how much she changed and affect your life in a positive way. This should be true anyway since you love her however it is important to mention it so they can be even more proud of her since she is a family.
Rule Number Six: Win the little one's heart. I can not press enough how important this is. Kids have no shame. If they do not like you, they will finish you off. They have no shame or filters. If you are not in a good term with them, they somehow expose you. Tell the adults that you were having a sneaky cigarette in the garden, swearing, eating a birthday cake secretly in the kitchen. Any little detail that might show you as a liar, asshole, bastard etc. So get them little gifts and be patient with them.
So I got geared up with these basic rules and set up my adventure. Since the first 5 rules are all mental exercises I went and bought three presents for 3 little nieces. My intelligent work indicated that one of them loves chocolate, other one is a little disco queen and the last one is a bookworm.
I got the best chocolate with hazelnuts, a little battery powered disco ball and a picture book about a little dog family.
Being proud and all about my choices We hit the road. Get to the gathering. Start following the rules I have written with much care. Then hole hell broke loose. People screaming, kids screaming and I am the one they are after with a great aggression.
First kid happened to be enjoying her chocolate but nobody told me about her ridiculously serious nut allergy. I am hoping that the ambulance will arrive soon since she looks red and somehow cannot breathe.
Second kid is in disco mode. Dancing like crazy. Only that I found out that she is epileptic and having a seizure kicked by my little disco ball with lights.
The third niece is running around screaming her lungs out. She was bitten by a dog a few months back and have serious dog issues.!
Well, we are still together and have a great relationship with the family but I lost 10 years of my life that day. My hair has gone white and half of it was lost.
Lesson learned. More rules added to the list but the good thing is I will never need them again. I and my other half will be one forever but you guys might keep the list. Free of charge.
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